Help! My fiance wants me pregnant before marriage!

This is a question someone wants me to answer. This is a very serious issue in Africa as far as marriage is concerned. There are many Christians who even promote “no pregnancy, no marriage” because of the fear of barrenness, and their little or no faith in God.

The truth is that there are many childless marriages today and the number is even on the increase. The fear of becoming one of such has made many to take this unchristian decision. This practice has infiltrated the Church to a great extent. This is sad!

As believers what should we do when faced with this kind of challenge? We have to go back to the Word of God. God’s Word is eternal. Even if the culture of this world changes (just as it is changing now) we should stay on the Lord’s side continually. Sex before marriage is a sin against God. In fact, the major causes of infertility today is sexual immorality! The Bible says, “they shall commit whoredom, and shall not increase: because they have left off to take heed to the LORD.” (Hosea 4:10 KJV). If you are a child of God choose rather to obey God rather than men. Sex before marriage is one of the devil’s tricks which he uses to hold men in captivity.

Some tried it but ended up being used and dumped at the end. Some got pregnant but after the marriage they lost their babies, and started looking for children. Others got infected with diseases while some got used because the “deceiver” never wanted anything like marriage but sex. So the only way to get what he wants is to request for pregnancy.

Even if you know some persons who tried it and you feel they succeeded, please choose to obey God faithfully.

The right things to be done are:

  1. Seek the face of God about the person you intend marrying.
  2. Go for medical tests to know if the person is medically fit to reproduce. Fertility tests such as Hormonal assay (for females), semen analysis (for males) and checking for sexually transmitted diseases (STD) by both is very important. Note that there are other useful test too.
  3. Be prayerful. Nothing may be wrong with couples but children may not come because of spiritual attacks. There is therefore need to pray.
  4. Build your marriage on Jesus Christ through obedience not on “pregnancy” if you want your marriage to succeed.
  5. Choose to obey God rather than me and the God whom you obey faithfully will bless your marriage with children.

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