Asexuality among Christians

Asexuality among Christians

To show asexuality

Asexuality is gotten from the word ‘asexual’, and it refers to the lack of interest or desire in sex, biologically it is used to refer to having no sexual organs.

Generally, the term asexual is used to refer to persons who lack any form of sexual attraction to people, both of the opposite sex and of the same sex.

Asexuality is not mentioned anywhere in the bible, neither does it talk about the lack of sexual desire or interest towards people.

The question then is, is it wrong to not feel any form of sexual desire or attraction?

The bible tells us that when God looked at all that he had created, he saw that it was good, and we know that God created sex and the sexual hormones in our bodies, this means that God saw the importance of sex for man and woman, and that was why he made it.

The closer we can get to the bible talking about lack of interest in sex is apostle Paul’s message in 1 Corinthians 7 :1 when he encouraged that it is good for one to remain unmarried.

This is because it would enable one’s sole focus to be on God and carrying out the gospel of Christ all over the world without the constraint of family.

Although he [Paul] also made it clear in verses 2-6 of that same chapter that for persons who know that they would find it difficult to control their sexual urges.

They should go ahead and get married to satisfy their sexual desires in a godly way, this is because evangelical works would not be used as an excuse for fornication. thanks

From apostle Paul’s message, celibacy among Christians is welcomed, as long as self-control can be easily exercised.

We must know that celibacy is a chosen path, but it does not indicate lack of sexual desires, but psychological or emotional factors or even hormonal imbalance could cause asexuality, factors such as [ emotional trauma from sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional bullying, body shaming, and so many others].

For this reason, it is advised that the first thing to do when one notices such thing is to pray and to see a professional therapist in order to be sure that whatever is happening is not as result of psychological, emotional or hormonal issues.

Cross dressing; is it a sin for Christians?

Cross dressing; is it a sin for Christians?

To show cross dressing

Cross dressing simply put, is wearing the apparels and garments that belongs to the opposite sex/gender.

Cross dressing in most ‘advanced’ nations of the world has become a norm in the society, but what does God and the bible say about this act, is it right or wrong for Christians to cross dress?

The bible in Deuteronomy 22:5 gives a clear understanding of the topic of cross dressing and transvestism [women dressing in men attires and vise versa].

From this passage, God instructs and command that a woman should not put on that which pertains to a man, and a man is not to put on that which pertains to a woman as well, because anyone who does this is an abomination unto God.

The message in this passage is not intended to forbid women from wearing pants of trousers, or to forbid men from wearing skirts/kilts [the Scottish traditional men].

It is solely focused on the fact that anyone who cross dresses, is trying to appear as something or someone else, that he or she isn’t, and this could be used as a means of deception.

The true definition of cross dressing from this passage, is changing one’s apparel and appearance to look like the opposite sex, and this is not acceptable to God because it discards the natural use of things, and takes on that which to God is unnatural [ Romans 1:24-27].

Apostle Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 11:3-15 tells the Corinthian church that the way and manner in which a woman adorns herself, and wears her hair is a reflection of God, likewise also a man.

Therefore, any woman who cuts or shaves her hair just because she wants to appear like a man, and a man who grows out his hair just because he wants to be seen like a woman is bringing shame to the body of Christ.

This doesn’t mean that any woman who shaves or cuts her hair, or any man who grows out his hair is a sinner, it is acceptable to keep one’s hair in whatever form or style that is most suitable to one.

It only becomes a sin when the motive and attitude of one’s heart for doing such thing is to appear as someone else, and like we know, that is deception, and deception in itself is a sin.

Christians should take note that different customs and traditions calls for different gender related clothing, for example it is customary that a traditional Scottish man wears a kilt[skirt].

Therefore, in such situations a man wearing a skirt is not crossdressing.No matter the custom and tradition of any society, Christians should only wear what is gender appropriate in that custom and make sure to dress decently, and above all bring glory to God.

Sexuality: should Christians struggle with it?

Sexuality: should Christians struggle with it?

Picture to show someone thinking about their sexuality
Am I gay??

Sexuality: people nowadays seem to get often conflicted about their sexuality, questioning their attraction to the same sex.

We all know that when God created the world and created man, he made them male and female and blessed their union, and we also know that homosexuality was never created by God, and is not accepted by him.

Christians should understand that the devil does not rest, working day and night looking for new means and measures which he can use in drawing God’s children away from him. And he executes these new measures in form of temptations.

All over the world, many people are struggling with their sexuality, some eventually coming out to declare themselves homosexual, the question then is if everyone else struggles with their sexuality, should Christians do so as well?

struggling with temptation (sexuality)

We as Christians should know that we live in the world that is of sinful nature, and we as humans have that sinful nature in us, and it is impossible to not struggle with ungodly desires, but we have the responsibility to resist and to overcome these desires[ Ephesians 6:13].

It is sinful to desire homosexuality, because we know that homosexuality is forbidden by God, and any desire that is rooted in anything that God has forbidden is a sin. But we first of have to understand the difference between the condition of being tempted and actually committing the sin.

It is not a sin for Christians to struggle with the their sexuality because it is a temptation from the devil, and temptation comes to every man that is born of God, even Jesus was tempted but he did not yield to it [Matthew 4:1], it is not a sin to struggle with temptation, but it only becomes a sin when we yield to those temptations just like Eve did [Genesis 3:6-7]

Just as it is impossible to stop a bird from flying over our heads, but it is possible to stop a bird from nesting on our head, so also is it impossible to stop temptations from coming, but it is very much possible to stop ourselves from falling into the temptations. As humans, we may not be able to control how we feel, but what we do with those feelings is what we can definitely control [ 1 Peter 1:5-8].

Therefore, the condition of Christians struggling with their sexuality is not a sin, because like earlier stated, struggling with temptation shows your desire to not compromise, and your will to fight off the devil.

The sin only comes when one decides to yield to the temptations of the devil, but we must also realize that the devil tempts us based off on our desires, so in order to not be tempted with one’s sexuality, make sure to keep your mind clean of any such things.

Gender dysphoria among Christians

Gender dysphoria among Christians

To emphasize on gender dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is a word or term that some people probably never heard of, or even though they have, they probably do not know the in-depth and actual meaning of it.

With the world evolving and so many things that have never been heard of becoming a part of our society and world, a Christian definitely needs the guidance of the holy spirit on what to do.

This article is here to throw more light on the term and to help Christians struggling with it to understand and to seek Godly ways of solving it.

Gender dysphoria is a psychological condition that occurs when people start feeling uncomfortable with biological sex, or assigned gender at birth [ male or female].

This dysphoria could come in form of not liking one’s body shape, desire to dress up in feminine clothes, hating how people just assume things about you because you are a particular gender, and in so many other ways.

Changing gender [transgender] or changing biological sex through surgical procedures[transsexual] is one of the ways certain persons cope with gender dysphoria202hey could change from male to female, or female to male [transgender], decide to fluctuate between the two genders [gender fluidity], decide to not be identified as any gender [agender, genderless], or decide to be both genders [bigender].

For other people, struggling with their gender is treated as a psychological problem and is treated by therapeutic measures, and conversion theories.

For certain people, this comes as a result of peer pressure and bullying, and like earlier stated, gender dysphoria is the psychological experience of distress that is a result of one’s biological gender, and his or her emotional or psychological gender identity.


How Do I Deal With Gender Dysphoria?

How do I deal with gender dysphoria is the  question, how can Christians cope with gender dysphoria and the so many complications that come with it?

We must know that,  confusion is not God’s plan or idea in life for his children, according to the bible he created us male and female, and he saw that it was good [Genesis 1:26-28], and we know that God is not an author of confusion, he has never and will never bring anything that would cause confusion among his children.

As a Christian who is faced with gender dysphoria, or know someone who is going through such crisis, the very first thing to understand that you are not a sinner because you are experiencing gender dysphoria.

know that whatever is happening to you is a temptation from the pit of hell ,then you fast and pray, because we know according to the bible in Matthew 17:21 that such things do not go away without fasting and praying.

Another thing is to seek help by studying the word of God continuously, talk to Christian elders that you trust and look up to, and seek professional therapeutic help.

For Christians who have friends or relatives struggling with gender dysphoria, getting them to understand that God loves them, and that whatever they are going through is as a result of the wickedness of the devil, and that they must believe God is ready to redeem and to save them, if only they are willing to come to him.


How should Christians react to friends or relatives coming out as homosexual

How should Christians react to friends or relatives coming out as homosexual

Being homosexual(gay or lesbian) is now becoming, or has become a normal thing in most countries of the world, many countries have legalized being homosexual, and many are on the verge of legalizing it, and for this reason, many people can now openly come out and express their sexuality.

The fact that so many people can now come out and express their sexuality, means that as Christians, we are going to have more of them around us, whether it be friends, relatives, school mates, nor simply acquaintances, they would be around us.

The question now is how should a Christian who knows that being homosexual is a sin to God, react to friends and relatives who come out as homosexual? and as we are told that sin is darkness, and we are told in the bible according to 2 Corinthians 6:14 that light and darkness cannot be together, and that we should not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

Just to be clear, as a Christian who finds such people around you, the first thing to do is not to cast them away, because even Jesus made friends with prostitutes, and other sinners [Luke 5:30, 7:34].

I have seen situations like that where such persons are ostracized from the family, and are in some cases physically and emotionally abused.

The first thing to do is to make sure to let them know that you still love them irrespective of their mistakes, after all Jesus encourages us to love all men, because we are ambassadors of Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:20.

Peter also advices that in dealing with those who God sends our way,[ even sinners], we must be prepared to giver proper answers to their questions about our hope and salvation with gentleness and respect, keeping a clean conscience[ 1 Peter 3:15-16] this is so that in a bid to not be associated with unbelievers, we do not end up sinning.

Another major thing to do is to make these friends and relatives who come out as homosexuals know our stand and belief about homosexuality, they should know that our stand on such is exactly what the bible and God stand for.

We should never be conflicted about where we stand concerning that, they must be aware that according to the bible in Romans 1:26-27, homosexual behavior is sinful.
They should also be aware that God’s forgiveness is available to all who is ready to come to him, and believe [ Romans 1:16].

Finally, when a relative, a friend, a school mate, or an acquaintance comes out as gay, we should and must show that person respect love and care without in any way condoning their homosexual lifestyle, we should also pray and hope that God woulhd grant them knowledge of the truth that would lead them to repentance 2 Timothy 2:25.

We must also make sure that we exhibit the fruits of the spirit every day and every time.

Appropriate level of intimacy for Christians in courtship

Appropriate level of intimacy for Christians in courtship

For many Christians in courtship, the level of intimacy has always been a topic of confusion, we all know that intimacy is what helps in building strong bonds, and for Christians who are courting, building a strong bond before marriage Is important. Now many courting couples are usually confused on this based on the physical aspect of intimacy, but it is important to note that intimacy is not just about the physical bonding, but about spiritual, emotional and psychological bonding.

The English dictionary defines intimacy as a feeling or atmosphere of closeness, towards someone, that doesn’t necessarily involve sexuality. This therefore means that intimacy is far beyond physical bonding. For Christian couples in courtship, there is the need and importance for intimacy, especially in the spiritual, emotional and psychological areas, there is the need for a deep connection and bonding between the intending couples, although if boundaries are not properly put in place, intimacy could lead to unintended ugly results, especially in the physical aspects.

We are going to be solely focused on the physical level of intimacy on this article, this is because there is need for more light to be shed on the appropriate level of physical intimacy, this intimacy or bonding needs more boundaries then any other forms of intimacy, or else sexual immorality could very well easily seep into the bonding process.

Now physical intimacy involves all the physical show of affection care, encouragement, love and affirmation and these includes, hugs, pats, light cuddling, pecks, forehead kisses, and so many other forms of affection. It is necessary and important for courting couples to understand that these physical show of affections and care are to be shown or done without anything remotely sexual in mind. The bible tells us to greet one another with a ‘holy kiss’ (Romans 16:16, 1 Thessalonians 5:6, 1 Corinthians 15:20) this ‘holy kiss’ better relates to all forms of physical show of affection and care that is not sexual in any way.

When these physical shows of intimacy are not put in boundaries, they could turn wild for example, pecks and light kisses could turn into deep French kissing, light cuddling could turn into heavy petting and fondling, and all these can easily get one sexually aroused, and then sex happens. One major thing to note is that in the bid to avoid going past boundaries in courtship, Christians should not shun out any form of intimacy in their relationship, because this is important in building strong bonds like earlier stated.

In creating these boundaries, courting Christians must first know what easily gets their partners aroused, and they can get these information by communicating with their partners, for some persons, they can’t go past the stage of holding hands, because anything relatively closer or more intimate like hugging, pecks, could get them sexually excited. For other persons, hugs and pecks do not get them sexually excited about their partners, so before these boundaries can be set, partners must first know each other’s weaknesses, for example if you know that that tight embraces easily gets your partner aroused, you would try to limit giving hugs, and especially in private places.

Another thing to do is to make sure that parts of the body which can be highly sensitive for both partners should be avoided. Like earlier stated, the best way to ensure these boundaries is for Christians in courtship to talk about each other’s weakness, and strength, so that one person doesn’t lead the other to sin.

Most importantly, Christian couples should know and understand that Godly relationships do not have to be completely empty of any kind of physical intimacy, but they should know that whatever forms of intimacy that is being initiated should and must glorify God.

Just to be clear, it is advisable that any form of intimacy beyond hugs, forehead kisses, pecks on the cheeks, light cuddling, holding of hands, should be avoided, some people may say that light pecks on the lips are ok, but I say otherwise, because light kisses on the lips could one day turn into something else, after all kissing is basically intentionally putting one’s flesh up for temptation, and that is not a very wise decision as Christians.

Lastly Christian couples should pray and seek God’s face in their relationship, and ask for the holy spirit who is the great guide and teacher to guide them and to help them not fall into temptations.

70 year old man arrested for defiling 8-yr-old girl in Niger State

70 year old man arrested for defiling 8-yr-old girl in Niger State

A 70 years old man has been arrested by the Niger state police for allegedly raping an 8 year old girl in Minna, Niger State. The man who was identified as Mohammed Sani Umar (Tela) committed the hideous act in Chanchaga area of the state.

It was gathered that Umar had raped the girl twice and had given her the sum of eighty Naira to keep silent about the incident. The girl’s uncle who was identified as Abubakar on narration said that his niece fell sick for a few weeks and despite many treatments she was still not getting well, a neighbor then advised the mother to observe the girl, and after some days, the mother noticed some blood stains in her daughter’s underwear. She asked her what happened to her and the little girl took her mother to the man’s house and pointed at him.

On seeing the girl and her mother, the man started pleading with them to cover it up, and that he would take responsibility. The angry and devastated mother on hearing this started crying and shouting for help, which prompted people to gather around and on hearing what happened, an angry mob descended on him, beating him up mercilessly.

Umar was further handed to police custody, with the family of the victim pleading that justice be served.

According to Sahara reporters, Umar admitted before a magistrate court on Wednesday that he raped the little girl twice because he loved her. The magistrate following the request of the prosecution, adjourned the case until July 23 and ordered the suspect to be remanded at the Minna new prison.

We must not forget God’s original purpose of creating sex.  Raping minors is not part of God’s purpose. The incessant increase of rape cases, especially of minors, and sexual immorality all over the world show clearly that man is rapidly drifting away from God and heading to destruction. God’s judgment is eminent. There is therefore the urgent need for repentance.

4 Biblical Ways to Overcome Sexual Sins and Addictions

Sexual sins and addictions, undoubtedly, have a very firm grip on this generation. It is God’s will that we live in freedom and in purity. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 say, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God”

Below are four ways we can overcome sexual sins and addictions. To get the full teaching I advise you watch playlist below:

PRAYER: Prayer renews your body and mind through the fire of the Holy Spirit, scare away demons of lust and evil desires. Prayers breaks demonic chains of sexual captivity and gives you the power of self-control. In your prayers bind monitoring demons and every evil projections that lead to committing sin.

FASTING: Fasting fuels your prayers spiritually. It makes prayers to move with unusual strength, subdues your flesh and uplifts your spirit. Fasting subjects your body and sexual urge under the control of the spirit man.

THE WORD OF GOD: The word of God purifies your heart of evil thoughts. It teaches you the right way of escape and gives you the authority to resist the devil. In fact, it is stressful and almost impossible to overcome sexual sins if you do not have the word of God in you. There’s power in the word of God.

Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

STAY AWAY FROM TEMPTATION: This is a very important tool in overcoming fornication and adultery. Avoid the one that brings you downfall. The physical presence of the one that wants to bring you temptation should be avoided especially in unsafe or lonely places.

When the devil knows that you are weak towards someone, he would assign demons to monitor you. These demons project evil thoughts into your heart and try to saturate your mind with sexual thoughts towards the person. Whenever you are together the demons come around and propel you, through a supernatural force, towards committing sexual sin with the person. If at all you must unavoidably be with such a person make sure the place is safe. Also pray always in your mind as long as both of you stay together. If music is allowed in such a place, play a Christian song. This elevates the spirit above the desires of the flesh and increases the power of self-control.

Should Christian Couples Have Sex Only in Missionary Position?

Should Christian Couples Have Sex Only in Missionary Position?

Lots of emails have rolled into my inbox concerning this topic. Many people want to know the truth about what is actually right for practice and what shouldn’t be done on the Christian marriage bed. Sex is holy, therefore, unholy practices should not be practiced in a holy matrimony. In this world where many people learn the act of sex from immoral sources like pornography, premarital sexual relationships, sexual orgies, etc., it is very important to state clearly what is morally right and what is immoral. Hebrews 13:4 says “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

Missionary Sex Position:  This is face-to-face sex position with the man on top. It is called “missionary position” because missionaries of old taught their converts that missionary sex position is the only morally accepted position Christians should have sex.

Although it is not written in the Bible, in the wisdom of the missionaries of old the teaching of having sex only in missionary position was adopted. This, in a way, was to set a standard and landmark for marital sex for their converts, many of whom, were into different types of sexual practices. These new converts were from different religious and cultural backgrounds with different immoral sexual practices. There was the need to set a “standard” for the new converts and make them get rid of immoral and animalistic practices.

My View on Sex Position: Before I air my opinion I have to state very clearly that some of the early missionaries were wrongly influenced by the Roman Catholic Church false view of abstinence, purity, marriage and sex. The Roman Catholic Church is a mixture of pagan practices and modified practices of the Holy Bible. For instance, many of the teachings of St Augustine, Bishop of Hippo, are not correct. He taught that sex in marriage should be had only for the purpose of procreation,[1] encouraged married couples to refrain from sexual intercourse as a way of exercising spiritual discipline[2] and as a way to hasten Christ’s return[3], he connected the original sin to sexual intercourse[4] [5], etc. Early fathers like Tatian the Syrian (ca. 120-180)[6], Clement of Alexandria (ca. 150-215)[7] and Irenaeus of Lyons (ca. 140-202)[8] all held some wrong views of the original sin by connecting it to sexual intercourse. These are unbiblical and heretic.

Many early and a few modern teachings present marital sex as “necessary evil” that must be had for the sole purpose of procreation. The unfair repression of the gift of sex to humankind has led to confusion and “rebellion” among Christians who later find out that some of these teachings are manmade. The bad side of it is that, since many Christians feel that the Church is shying away from the truth they turned to different sources of information, of which many contain unbiblical practices that are even against nature.

Sex is holy and it should be had in a holy manner, and not to fulfill the lust or cravings of the flesh but for marital fulfillment and natural purposes. The Bible says: “Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Co 14:40 KJV). We as God’s children should know that “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God” (1 Thess. 4:3-5 NIV).

It is very true that some modern Christians no longer attach any sense of morality to the types of activities they carry out on their matrimonial bed. This is wrong! This is partly because some of them learn the act of sex from sexual immoral acts like pornography, Karma Sutra and the like. Quickly, I need to also add that it is not right for a Christian to read or practice Karma Sutra because it is a religious sex book that contains a lot of immoral practices that are against our Christian faith.

Generally speaking, sex position is determined by various factors ranging moral sense of judgment, personal health to what couples deem suitable and enjoyable. Sex is a gift from God enjoyed in marriage only. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with couples having sex in different positions other than missionary. However, I must not fail to stress that sex is holy and it should therefore be treated as such. Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Sex should be had respectfully and not in a way that should humiliates a partner or in an animalistic manner. Positions that are animalistic, injurious and abusive should not be taken to the bed of a holy marriage. It is sinful to lose the sense of morality in course of pursuing pleasure. Also, sex positions that are practiced to release spiritual energy and are ritualistic (as taught and practiced by some religions) should be avoided.

Sex is not a dirty act that we should regard as “necessary evil” but a gift from God created not just for procreation but also for the enjoyment of humankind in a holy matrimony. Limiting sex positions to only missionary could lead to several complications. For instance, missionary sex position could be impracticable for a man with deformity, couples with ill health, fat couples with their stomach getting in the way, etc. Unfair repression of morally right sexual pleasures in marriage leads to adultery, sexual repression, guilt, quarrels in marriage, lack of intimacy, divorce, loss of faith in Christianity, search for knowledge from unchristian sources, etc.

Featured image credit:

[1] St. Augustine, “The Good of Marriage,” in Theology and Sexuality: Classic and Contemporary Readings, ed. Eugene F. Rogers Jr. (Malden: Blackwell, 2002), 71.

[2] St. Augustine, “The Good of Marriage,”73.

[3] St. Augustine, “The Good of Marriage,” 79.

[4] Pagels, Adam, Even and the Serpent, 80.

[5] Pagels, Adam, Even and the Serpent, 109.

[6] Pagels, Adam, Even and the Serpent, 27.

[7] Pagels, Adam, Even and the Serpent, 32.

[8] Pagels, Adam, Even and the Serpent, 32