Many Christians have emailed me asking me if oral sex in marriage is a sin or not. I have listened to a pastor preached on a topic that addressed issues like this, and he said it is allowed in marriage. I have also heard others say oral sex is a sin. Some others quote some verses of Songs of Solomon to support their view that the Bible does not condemn oral sex. Here are some of those verses:
“O that thou wert as my brother, that sucked the breasts of my mother! when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yea, I should not be despised. 2 I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother’s house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.” (Song of Solomon 8:1-2).
“Like a lily among the thorns, so is my darling among the maidens. 3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.”( Song of Solomon 2:2-3).
“You are a garden spring, a well of fresh water, streams flowing from Lebanon. Awake, north wind, and come, south wind. 16 Make my garden breathe out, let its fragrance flow. Let my beloved come into his garden, and let him eat its choicest fruits.” (Song of Solomon 4:15-16).
The above Bible verses do not directly address this issue but some Christians use them to support their views concerning oral sex.
Since the Bible did not address this topic directly, there’s need to be careful before drawing conclusions.
Personally, I believe that God did not create sex for reproduction alone but also for pleasure. God purposely created sex to be pleasurable for the satisfaction of humans, but in marriage only. Concerning sexual satisfaction the Bible also says:
“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (1 Cor. 7:3-5).
The question is: Is there no limit to sexual pleasure?
The Lord did not tell me that oral sex in marriage is a sin though I have longed to hear from God concerning this topic. As a result I can only speak from my personal Christian and moral view. Personally, I don’t think Christians should have oral sex. We should understand that though God created pleasure, it is also God’s will that His children moderate the amount of pleasure they receive. If no limit is set, it is likened to gluttony. Sexual stimulations should not be allowed to enslave the flesh. This, some have allowed and became addicted to pleasure. Sex is very addictive, therefore I think such an activity that produces high stimulation should be avoided. I don’t think it is right for Christians not to moderate the pleasure of sex they receive or give.
Finally, I advise that you pray about this and seek the will of the LORD even as I leave you with these words of Apostle Paul to meditate upon:
“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, BUT I WILL NOT BE BROUGHT UNDER THE POWER OF ANY.” (1 Cor. 6:12).