A married man emailed me and specifically requested me to pray to God to get answer from the Lord for him, if it is right in the sight of God for couples to have video sex and masturbate. He explained that he works hundreds of miles away from home. They both engaged in it as a means of satisfying their sexual needs since his job keeps him at a distance of hundreds of miles away from his wife.

I prayed about this issue and inquired from God if it is right for a husband and wife to have video sex. God told me it is totally wrong.

God described it as, “an act on which hangs many other wrong and unholy activities that God hates.”

God told me that sex is one of the three main engines on which marriage runs: sex, God’s holy ordinance and love. Sex should therefore, be had in a manner that is natural without deviation and perversions.


On my own I decided to bring out some of the reasons couples should not have video sex. (You are very much free to share your views in the comment box below).

  1. Sex is a physical act: Sex is an undefiled bodily union between a man and his wife. Video sex does not involve physical body contact, which is a deviation from what sex is originally. Video sex allows you to have sex with the image of your spouse in your imagination and not with his or her body. The husband and the wife are only permitted to give to each other their bodies in sex not their images.

“The wife hath no power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife” (1 Cor. 7:4).

  1. Sex should be private: Marital sex is strictly a private affair. It should start and end with the couple alone without the intrusion or involvement of any third party. Video sex removes this privacy. Your (internet) service provider who transmits your actions and conversations may have full access to all the sexual activities you both perform. This violates the nature of marital sex. You must not forget that one of the disadvantages of modern internet technology is spying on the privacy of users and eavesdropping on the conversations of users.
  2. Risk of being blackmailed: Your sexual activities could be recorded by your service provider who could use it against you. There is nothing done over the internet or transmitted through secured encrypted transmission that has 100 percent privacy. Even our phone calls are being recorded. Spies could use this against you.
  3. Video sex is pornography in disguise: Pornography is a movie, picture etc. that shows or describes naked people or sex in a very open and direct way in order to cause sexual excitement. When you have video sex with your spouse do not forget that most devices automatically record video calls and chats. Even a lot of people may like to record such activities so that they could play it over and over again whenever they want to. This is pornography! The tendency of acting out what you watch will become high with time, hereby leading to masturbation and lust – becoming pre-occupied with sexual thoughts.
  4. 5. It could leak into the internet: Unfortunately, such a video could leak out of your phone or computer and land on the internet! You would be surprised to find out that what you thought to be helping you to “stay away from adultery” would be feeding the lust of millions of people who surf for pornography over the internet. There are thousands of such videos “recorded innocently” that are being circulated online and offline. Such mistakes should not be made by Christians. Many people have committed suicide (and gone to Hell Fire) – because of such careless living – after they found out that thousands or millions have watched their recorded sexual activities. Remember that we are to let our light shine before all men so that when people see our good works they will glorify our Father who is in Heaven (Matt. 5:6), and not do things that will bring shame and disgrace to us.
  5. Such practices could lead to masturbation addiction: Masturbation addiction is a monster headed challenge on its own. This habit could in turn ruin your healthy sex life with your spouse.
  6. Tendency to watch pornography: If you introduce video sex into your marriage, you could be inviting the temptation to patronize pornography.

My Recommendation

  • One of the primary purposes of marriage is to avoid fornication. Hence every man is to “have his own wife and every woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2) but if your job creates distance between you and your wife for a long period of time, you are to rely on God’s providence of grace like Paul (1Cor.7:7; 9:5). If I may ask, “where there no faithful Christians who worked far away their matrimonial home before the arrival of video calls-enabled technology?” YES.! They existed! The same grace that saw them through is still very much available in our days too.
  • If it is convenient enough for you, you can also do it the way some of the Apostles were able to handle the challenge of physical separation by distance. Some of the Apostles traveled with their wives (1 Cor. 9:5).
  • It is also very necessary to communicate over the phone. An ordinary video call could even do better. This will go a long way to bridge the distance.
  • Pray together on phone. Some families separated by distance have their daily devotions together through the help of voice or video calls. This keeps partners close, though apart. This helps to give lots emotional satisfaction.